


Loneliness Consumes

by ChurimiyiaTsu



Series: Loneliness consumes you [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hinted AkaKuro, Kuroko kinda goes crazy, M/M, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Role Reversal, Sad Ending, Somewhat, Teikou Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29259303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChurimiyiaTsu/pseuds/ChurimiyiaTsu
Summary: After Ogiwara fell, Kuroko found himself with no one.He's all alone. The loneliness is suffocating, and it consumes him.
Relationships: Akashi Seijuurou/Kuroko Tetsuya
Series: Loneliness consumes you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170383
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	1. 1

_“Your eyes are cold like theirs,”_

The words echoed in Kuroko’s head over and over, despairingly, Kuroko curled in on himself. His teammate’s and former friends’ hurtful words echoed throughout his head, repeating and overlapping until he could hear nothing else.

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up,” Kuroko whispered, holding his hands against his head. “Tetsuya?” Kuroko could hear in a far off distance. 

_“You’re all alone again,”_ a mysterious voice started.

_“They’ve left you behind,”_

“They’ll come back,” Kuroko whispered, hands shook his shoulders but he barely registered the motion.

_“Would you be able to forgive them? Akashi-san promised you that they’d go all out. But look where we are now. Will you be able to look at Aomine without remembering his words? Will you be able to call Ogiwara ever again?”_

“Tetsuya who are you talking to?” the voice ask- no demanded. 

_“They’re like this because of their obsession with victory. All they care about is victory, an absolute victory. They don’t care about you. They don’t care about the lives they’ve ruined. They’re cold because of their victory, the Generation of Miracles you once knew are gone, forever.”_

“This isn’t a victory, that’s not a victory. Don’t call it that. You don’t lose anything when you win, and I’ve lost everything,” Kuroko replied, his eyes unfocused, his head shaking. “You can’t call that a victory,” 

_“Then do you really want to stay here? In this place of false victories? Where they equate loss to victory? In this aching loneliness?”_

“No, I can’t handle that. I can’t go through another minute of those cold eyes with so much blood on their hands,” Kuroko’s entire body shook as a flash of the once warm friendship of the generation of miracles grayed and frayed at the edges, eventually burning away.

_“Then I can help you, just take a break for a while. Rest. You deserve it.”_

All his pain dulled away, Kuroko’s senses seemed to weaken and eventually become null, then his vision darkened.

* * *

“Tetsuya?” Akashi walked into the locker room, interested in why he’d be hiding in there. 

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up” Kuroko whispered, his eyes were unfocused as he rocked back and forth, holding his head. 

Akashi held Kuroko’s shoulders, trying to snap him out of it.

(Don’t do this when someone’s having a panic attack… don’t be a Bokushi, what you should do is ask if it’s okay to touch the person before making any physical contact)

“They’ll come back,” Kuroko whispered, his voice cracked with pain and he unconsciously winced, as if he didn’t believe his words himself.

“Tetsuya, who are you talking to?” Akashi demanded, growing angry yet concerned. _Please don’t let this be what I think it is_

“This isn’t a victory, that’s not a victory. Don’t call it that. You don’t lose anything when you win, and I’ve lost everything… you can’t call that a victory” Kuroko muttered, his words were squeezed out between pained whimpering. 

At those words Akashi froze, their victory wasn’t a victory? Was he talking about the match against Meiko? 

_He’s talking about the matches ever since the team changed, he was the only one that never changed…_ Oreshi supplemented 

_It seems that something happened between him and Meiko’s ace that has caused this_ Bokushi replied

 _It was us. Meiko’s ace only tipped the iceberg of what Kuroko has been bottling up ever since Aomine changed,_ Oreshi corrected. _It’s our fault_

 _That’s impossible. Our victory was absolute. Tetsuya should be celebrating,_ Bokushi argued.

 _But he isn’t. Is your victory really so absolute? Can you call this.. Kuroko’s suffering, victory? He’s a direct effect of our victory._ Oreshi continued. 

_Shut up, what do you know about victory?_ Bokushi snarled.

_I know that this isn’t victory. The scores are the only thing that indicate victory, do you really think seeing the one we love suffering like this is a victory?_

Bokushi fell silent.

“No, I can’t handle that. I can’t go through another minute of those cold eyes with so much blood on their hands,” Kuroko’s weak voice, so filled with pain Akashi wanted to hug him, broke the silence in Akashi’s head.

Then it was quiet, and Kuroko fell still. It was as if he was frozen.

“Tetsu- Kuroko?” Oreshi took back control, looking at Kuroko concerningly. “Would it be okay to touch you?” he asked, not knowing if Kuroko had calmed down or not.

“There’s no need,” Kuroko replied, slapping away Akashi’s arm that was hanging next to him. If it weren’t for the tear streaks on his face, you wouldn’t be able to tell that the teal-head was formerly crying. 

The sound of Kuroko’s voice sent chills down Akashi’s spine. Even with his blunt and straightforward nature, there was always a small hint of warmth in Kuroko’s voice, now it was completely devoid of emotion.

_Kuroko’s eyes were cold and completely dull. “You.. you’re not Kuroko… who are you?” Akashi asked._

Kuroko’s eyes met Akashi’s, completely devoid of emotion Kuroko simply replied, “Kuroko Tetsuya. You already know this,” he answered. 

Normally, Kuroko would’ve made a straightforward jab at how bad of a comedian Akashi was. Or he’d be happy to see the former Akashi back. 

Seeing this new Kuroko, the one with blizzards in his eyes instead of the special warmth they used to have, only for him, was too painful.

“Regardless of who I am, I’m resigning from the club. You can find my resignation form in your office shortly. Goodbye Aka-san,” Kuroko wiped his face with his sleeve, staring impassively at the tears that soaked his shirt then simply walked away.

* * *

“Akashi-kun, we know something has been bothering you. Please spit it out. The past few weeks have been bad for Aquarius, is it something about Kuroko?” Midorima asked.

Murasakibara had looked on, appearing to be uninterested, but he watched the scene carefully.

“Yeah yeah! We care about Kurokocchi too! We want to help too! We can tell that Akashicchi knows something, so just tell us. It’d be easier if we were helping out too!” Kise declared boldly. 

“If there’s something happening to Tetsu-kun that made him quit the basketball he loves so much we have to help him! Dai-chan will help too!” Momoi dragged Aomine to her side, he looked at Akashi begrudgingly, “We may not be as close anymore, but Tetsu’s still important to us,” he grunted.

 _Even when Kuroko’s not physically here, he’s still bringing us together… whether he means to or not_ Akashi mused curiously.

“Well then, if you are all so insistent we need to have a talk before we can save Kuroko,” Akashi’s expression saddened, sending a silent chill through all the miracles.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akashi and the rest of the Miragen (Excluding Kuroko, Including Momoi) have a quick meeting.

“Are you for real?” Aomine asked incredulously. Akashi gave him a glare, demanding _Would I joke about something like this? Scratch that, would I joke?_

The Kiseki no Sedai, including Momoi, were inside an empty classroom. It was after school, when they would normally be practicing if not for the end of the year coming soon. 

Murasakibara munched on his chips faster, his casual eating seemed to change to a more stressful one. Midorima unwrapped and rewrapped the tape on his fingers, worriedly fidgeting with them. 

Kise had a look of horror and guilt on his face, while Aomine looked defiantly guilty. As if he was guilty, but didn't want to admit that he was in the wrong. 

“Aomine’s an idiot as usual,” Midorima pushed his glasses up, sending a quick look of disappointment towards the mentioned bluehead. 

Momoi was distraught, "No wonder why he's been avoiding me. Avoiding us. All of us. I should've done something, I could've done something." 

"You shouldn't place the blame completely on yourself Momo-chi," Kise quickly responded. "This is something that all of us did... and we need to take responsibility..." 

“Anyway, do you have a plan on how to get the old Kuroko back?” the unaffectionate greenhead looked away, as if it would hide the concern he felt. “Just one,” Akashi sighed. He’d really feel a lot more comfortable if there were more options, but the situation was extremely unclear.

The miracles all perked their head at him, was Akashi really at a loss on what to do? “I’m not,” a condescending glare stroked the miracles. “Is Akashi-chi sure he can’t read minds?” Kise complained. 

“I cannot. It would be very convenient if I could, as we would not be having this meeting otherwise,” he replied curtly. 

“Then what’s your plan? Drag Tetsu out and then beat him until the old one comes back?” Aomine asked curiously. _Does he actually think- nevermind Aomine never thinks_

“Dai-chan how could you say that?! Even if it’s not our Tetsu-kun there it’s still Tetsu-kun!” Momoi exclaimed. 

“It was a joke.. I’m joking,” Aomine backed away from his childhood friend nervously. “Ah.. Mine-chin… it’s not really the time,” Murasakibara commented between crunches. 

“The plan is for us to play together again. With teamwork, instead of running off on our own and doing our own thing. Only caring for winning. As I had before, Kuroko changed because the team changed. He'll definitely come back, if, in his eyes, his team came back,” Akashi explained. 

Momoi and Midorima understood quickly, immediately nodding in acknowledgement. Murasakibara tipped his head in confusion before realizing a few seconds later. The group stared at Aomine and Kise, who exchanged somewhat confused glances until Kise understood. 

“What do you mean the team changed?” Aomine asked. “Are you stupid? Oh wait, rhetorical questions are rude.” Midorima sighed. 

“Dai-chan, we’re going to have a long talk when we get home,” Momoi glared. Akashi silently thanked the manager. 

“That’s cute,” a new voice commented. “K-Kuroko-chi?!” Kise squealed. “I’ve been here the entire time,” the emotionless voice continued. 

“Don’t think that playing a game together will bring the Kuroko you know back. Every one of you changed so easily, so quickly. Who’s to say it won’t happen again? It’s very difficult to change for the better you know. Even if you play together, would you even know what teamwork is?” the cold voice pierced through everyone’s hearts, the complete void that was Kuroko was terrifying… and painful.

Then as suddenly as he appeared, he left. It was as if a weight had been lifted, and the room felt so much warmer without the coldhearted phantom in it. 

“He’s right...” Momoi muttered sadly, looking down at the floor shamefully as she fidgeted with a stray strand of hair.

“The Generation of Miracles are too strong, and with that pride and ego it’s difficult to work together. Even then, everyone could easily get drunk with praises and this whole thing would repeat itself… What can we do?” she asked despairingly. 

Momoi’s worried eyes looked pleadingly at the group for an answer, who could only shift nervously as they had no answer. Except for Akashi. “There’s only one thing we can do.” 

Everyone looked at him, silently asking for the answer. “We split up. Go to different schools.” 

The teammates looked at each other in confusion, struggling to process what the captain had just said. 

“Wait what?” Kise blurted, Midorima’s face echoed the same question, while Murasakibara had stopped mid-crunch on a pocky stick he was snacking on.

Aomine simply looked at Akashi like he spoke a completely different language, and Momoi looked upset but understanding.

“With our new teams, we’ll learn teamwork. The years of teamwork that we will learn in high school will be more prominent than our one year of discourse.” Akashi paused, considering his words for a moment.

“This new Kuroko wouldn’t be playing a game with us, he will definitely go to a completely different school than the rest of us. When the time comes, we can… incite him to come to a tournament to show him that we’ve learned and truly changed.”

“That works out for me,” Murasakibara replied lazily, “My family’s moving to Akita anyway,” 

“I’ll play lots of games! Especially against you, Kise! And I’ll win all of them!” Aomine jeered. 

“That’s not the point, idiot.” Midorima scolded.

“Bring it on Aomine-chi! I’ll definitely beat you, AND bring Kuroko-chi back!” Kise declared.

“Oi, if anyone’s bringing him back it’ll be me! His light!” Aomine argued. 

The two started squabbling immediately, pulling at each other’s hair and clothes. Glaring daggers into the other’s face as they yelled unclear obscenities at each other.

"Is no one worried about the 'inciting' part of the plan?" Midorima sighed. 

“Does Dai-chan even have the right to call himself Tetsu-kun's light anymore?” Momoi muttered, looking away from the scene. 

“I HEARD THAT!” Aomine yelled, glaring at his childhood friend before continuing his odd tug of war with Kise. 

Akashi sighed, but looked on fondly before having Murasakibara split Aomine and Kise up. Slowly, the Miragen was starting to change, for the better. And hopefully, this’ll be able to bring back Kuroko too. 

“Akashi,” Midorima set a hand reassuringly on Akashi’s shoulder, he looked at him in hidden surprise. 

“We’ll definitely bring Kuroko back. It’s our fault, we need to fix it.” Midorima clenched his lucky item, a squeaky toy, tightly in his hand. It squeaked pitifully. 

“We will,” Akashi assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, honestly I have no idea what another plan to bring Kuroko back would be... other than the plans Akashi and Aomine proposed. 
> 
> This Kuroko is a result of the emotional pain that he went through due to the Kiseki no Sedai, so this new personality completely blocks out emotions to take away that pain. It's not very healthy. Kuroko will come back when it's determined that he can't get hurt like before, and in learning teamwork, the Kiseki will learn to love basketball again. So it's a win win!


End file.
